Wonyarpsas is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, self-assured beaver.

Wonyarpsas created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonyarpsas, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wonyarpsas, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wonyarpsas' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Wonyarpsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the north.