Dutyarsog is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witless unicorn.

Dutyarsog created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutyarsog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dutyarsog, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dutyarsog's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dutyarsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help bats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always wear indigo.