Metsanxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental lobster.

Metsanxuc created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Metsanxuc, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Metsanxuc, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Metsanxuc's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Metsanxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near seals.

2. You must love Metsanxuc.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Metsanxuc.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.