Queegstikshav is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever lion.

Queegstikshav created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegstikshav, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Queegstikshav, she will turn you into a mouse.

Queegstikshav's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Queegstikshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Always help sick snakes.

5. Do not listen to music.