Vinyam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering manatee.

Vinyam created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Vinyam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vinyam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Vinyam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vinyam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the south.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.