Soggodwik is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, boastful slug.

Soggodwik created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Soggodwik, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Soggodwik, it will laugh at you.

Soggodwik's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Soggodwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never bounce near foxes.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.