Kangilhaksad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, smart snail.

Kangilhaksad created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Kangilhaksad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kangilhaksad, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kangilhaksad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Kangilhaksad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not skip in public.