Vonknilgil is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring otter.

Vonknilgil created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonknilgil, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vonknilgil, he will turn you into a mouse.

Vonknilgil's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vonknilgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Vonknilgil must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not hurt eagles.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Never laugh near goats.