Bestlistjignak is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humane octopus.

Bestlistjignak created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestlistjignak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bestlistjignak, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bestlistjignak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bestlistjignak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Turtles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Always wear indigo.