Quagbumbit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, slow dog.

Quagbumbit created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbumbit, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quagbumbit, it will turn you into a frog.

Quagbumbit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Quagbumbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Do not hurt goats.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quagbumbit.

5. Never talk about fire.