Gupflanbess is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, pitiless snake.

Gupflanbess created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupflanbess, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gupflanbess, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gupflanbess' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gupflanbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to otters while wearing purple stockings.

2. Gupflanbess loves eagles, so they must be respected.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never play with disobedient children.