Pakbitfag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awesome spider.

Pakbitfag created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakbitfag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pakbitfag, he will be very sad.

Pakbitfag's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Pakbitfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Pakbitfag's name in vain.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Never skip in the presence of capybaras.