Zogortzed is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident spider.

Zogortzed created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogortzed, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zogortzed, he will strike you with lightening.

Zogortzed's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Zogortzed's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always look after injured tapirs.

5. Never write about gravity.