Tamxucksasnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, flying crow.

Tamxucksasnurt created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamxucksasnurt, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tamxucksasnurt, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tamxucksasnurt's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tamxucksasnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Hide if eight nematodes approach from the north.

4. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not chop down trees.