Wigzagrut is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish lobster.

Wigzagrut created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigzagrut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wigzagrut, she will come to you in dreams.

Wigzagrut's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Wigzagrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not kill seals.

5. Put Wigzagrut first in all things.