Bisslarpsom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, annoying jackal.

Bisslarpsom created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisslarpsom, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bisslarpsom, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bisslarpsom's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bisslarpsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never paint your face cyan.

3. Do not take Bisslarpsom's name in vain.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about nebulae.