Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited toad.

Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem, it will turn you into a plant.

Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Titdisstigyimlatpincatcem loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Ants are not to be trusted.

4. Never paint your feet turquoise.

5. Always help seals.