Pinfigsas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid spider.

Pinfigsas created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinfigsas, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pinfigsas, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pinfigsas' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Pinfigsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near porpoises.

2. You must love Pinfigsas.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.