Flaptapbap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, staggering bear.

Flaptapbap created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptapbap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flaptapbap, it will think nothing of it.

Flaptapbap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Flaptapbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Erect four iron sculptures of Flaptapbap on top of important buildings.

5. Do not shave your head.