Tofflyhon is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, almighty hydra.

Tofflyhon created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofflyhon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tofflyhon, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tofflyhon's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tofflyhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dogs with great respect.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Run away if seven mice approach from the west.

5. Pray towards the south.