Litbitwon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable shrew.

Litbitwon created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Litbitwon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Litbitwon, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Litbitwon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Litbitwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured squirrels.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Do not listen to music.