Bopbenquat is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, thoughtless gerbil.

Bopbenquat created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopbenquat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bopbenquat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bopbenquat's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bopbenquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat badgers with great respect.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.