Gargudpadxucknurlpanmin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy chinchilla.

Gargudpadxucknurlpanmin created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gargudpadxucknurlpanmin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gargudpadxucknurlpanmin, he will manifest in front of you.

Gargudpadxucknurlpanmin's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gargudpadxucknurlpanmin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not speak about spinach.