Tapfumkip Dappodlap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, compassionate clam.

Tapfumkip Dappodlap created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapfumkip Dappodlap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tapfumkip Dappodlap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tapfumkip Dappodlap's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tapfumkip Dappodlap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always help sick foxes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.