Flamcattip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, two-faced crab.

Flamcattip created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamcattip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamcattip, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flamcattip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Flamcattip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Flamcattip on top of all buildings.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.