Rutlarpstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, vain wombat.

Rutlarpstrag created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutlarpstrag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rutlarpstrag, he will send minions to preach to you.

Rutlarpstrag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Rutlarpstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide if three manatees approach from the south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into green rooms.