Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical meerkat.

Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad, she will remove you from existence.

Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gommutsascarlopsogfabmad.