Zagtettizen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, merciless ferret.

Zagtettizen created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtettizen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zagtettizen, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zagtettizen's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zagtettizen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zagtettizen.