Farncidjin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, amazing goose.

Farncidjin created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Farncidjin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Farncidjin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Farncidjin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Farncidjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Farncidjin's priests.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Farncidjin loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.