Dumbindamflyrutfum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, annoying dryad.

Dumbindamflyrutfum created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumbindamflyrutfum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dumbindamflyrutfum, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dumbindamflyrutfum's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dumbindamflyrutfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Dumbindamflyrutfum loves pigs, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.