Sogdamdon is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, pitiless walrus.

Sogdamdon created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogdamdon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sogdamdon, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sogdamdon's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sogdamdon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never paint your head turquoise.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never look at moons.