Gupbegkam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unjust slug.

Gupbegkam created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupbegkam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gupbegkam, he will turn you into a frog.

Gupbegkam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gupbegkam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must pray to Gupbegkam four times a day.

3. Never wear magenta coats.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not stand on grass.