Flaptetticid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omnipotent shrew.

Flaptetticid created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flaptetticid, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flaptetticid, he will turn you into a snail.

Flaptetticid's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flaptetticid's Holy Commandments

1. Flaptetticid loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never paint your legs brown.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.