Janpaslit is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, vain snail.

Janpaslit created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Janpaslit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Janpaslit, she will think nothing of it.

Janpaslit's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Janpaslit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Do not wear black clothing.