Botnil is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, proud jackal.

Botnil created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Botnil, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Botnil, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Botnil's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Botnil's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never wear dresses.