Zodnarlbug is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing wolf.

Zodnarlbug created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Zodnarlbug, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zodnarlbug, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zodnarlbug's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Zodnarlbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never feed lentils to voles while wearing violet stockings.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about cell theory.