Tonzakdid Japvigtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm squirrel.

Tonzakdid Japvigtetti created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonzakdid Japvigtetti, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tonzakdid Japvigtetti, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tonzakdid Japvigtetti's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tonzakdid Japvigtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.