Hapmoblarg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, contented naga.

Hapmoblarg created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapmoblarg, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hapmoblarg, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hapmoblarg's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hapmoblarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Worship no other gods but Hapmoblarg.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.