Yartvolnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, generous squid.

Yartvolnutt created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartvolnutt, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yartvolnutt, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yartvolnutt's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yartvolnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.