Lanvolbed is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing mongoose.

Lanvolbed created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Lanvolbed, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lanvolbed, it will try to impress you with trees.

Lanvolbed's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Lanvolbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Hide if seven aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not eat wheat.