Venomindap is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omniscient lobster.

Venomindap created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venomindap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Venomindap, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Venomindap's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Venomindap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Do not speak about tomatoes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.