Venrilkar is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, selfish tortoise.

Venrilkar created the Milkyway six billion years ago.

If you believe in Venrilkar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Venrilkar, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Venrilkar's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Venrilkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Venrilkar.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.