Hakbablarn is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous duck.

Hakbablarn created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakbablarn, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakbablarn, it will think nothing of it.

Hakbablarn's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hakbablarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.