Gidstipbess is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured faun.

Gidstipbess created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidstipbess, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gidstipbess, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Gidstipbess' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gidstipbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gidstipbess.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Always help grasshopers.