Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, emotional cat.

Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not kill porpoises.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Vagfatflamfatbag Kintoffid must be the most important thing in your life.