Fomquamtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, calm hamster.

Fomquamtarg created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomquamtarg, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fomquamtarg, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fomquamtarg's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fomquamtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snails with great respect.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.