Vadbenarm is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited giraffe.

Vadbenarm created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadbenarm, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vadbenarm, he will remove you from existence.

Vadbenarm's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Vadbenarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about grasshopers.

2. Vadbenarm must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. You must love Vadbenarm.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.