Mabmatquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, charitable yak.

Mabmatquam created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabmatquam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mabmatquam, she will not care.

Mabmatquam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mabmatquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect four zinc sculptures of Mabmatquam on top of important buildings.

4. You must love Mabmatquam.

5. Always wear magenta.