Poncepbig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unjust faun.

Poncepbig created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Poncepbig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Poncepbig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Poncepbig's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Poncepbig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Erect five nickel sculptures of Poncepbig on top of important buildings.