Mistagxen Voltikflag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, cheerful elephant.

Mistagxen Voltikflag created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mistagxen Voltikflag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mistagxen Voltikflag, it will be mildly annoyed.

Mistagxen Voltikflag's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Mistagxen Voltikflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never wear orange shorts.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.